Confidence
“We will now proceed with the reading of the letter, William if you please…”
- Silence-
A man is afforded few choices in the world, he is allowed to choose his company, he is allowed to choose how he reacts or responds to situations and if he is incredibly lucky (or bold if you prefer) he is allowed to choose the time and manner of his death. Choices, tricky thing that.
I would count myself among the fortunate of the human race, I was schooled in the finest institutions by inspiring minds, a beautiful woman loves me and awaits my return, I have 2 strong free thinking children and lack for nothing materially. The choices I made along the course of my life have undoubtedly guided my life to the point where I have penned these words. I mentioned earlier that I counted myself among the fortunate but I do so, not because of the considerable material success I enjoyed, I do so, because I was allowed to choose the time and manner of my death.
I can sense your trepidation as this is being read, you are my family and I would have probably felt the same way if I were there listening to these words and one of you had authored it. Fear not, I did not kill myself, I merely selected when and how I would die. I am a happy man and am proud of the legacy I have left behind in my temporal accomplishments and above all my children. No man can ask for more and no man must ask for less. Asking more always tests boundaries, yours and those of the world around you.
Questions must abound in your mind about the circumstances surrounding my death and the manner in which it played out; it’s simple really, I decided that my death will serve to act as an example for the rest of the world. I hope that it will provoke questions about why a rational, normal man like me would choose this mode over others and these questions in turn would force them to ask themselves if they would do the same. There are lessons to be learnt in everything even in something as terminal as life.
Regret is an emotion I swore I would never feel, acknowledging regret makes me feel like I haven’t really lived life to its full potential, and that, dear family is not a good feeling to have. I know because as I reflect now, I am filled with regret over not having done some of the things I thought I would do. I could have been a better father, a stronger person, a wiser citizen…the list is endless if you start, really. But the greatest comfort I had through all that was the knowledge of the choice I had been afforded.
By the time this letter is read, my emaciated, decomposing body, with a blood alcohol count slightly over the legal limit, would have been discovered by the police. Forensic analysis will reveal that my blood also contains trace elements of cocaine and heroin. My car will be discovered in the west wing of my office parking lot, the cause of death will be determined as carbon monoxide poisoning. My car will be discovered 48 hours after my death.
-Silence-
“Hi my name is William Jonah Wallaby, I am a Suicide Survivor ”
-Applause-
“We will now proceed with the reading of the next letter…”
- Silence-
A man is afforded few choices in the world, he is allowed to choose his company, he is allowed to choose how he reacts or responds to situations and if he is incredibly lucky (or bold if you prefer) he is allowed to choose the time and manner of his death. Choices, tricky thing that.
I would count myself among the fortunate of the human race, I was schooled in the finest institutions by inspiring minds, a beautiful woman loves me and awaits my return, I have 2 strong free thinking children and lack for nothing materially. The choices I made along the course of my life have undoubtedly guided my life to the point where I have penned these words. I mentioned earlier that I counted myself among the fortunate but I do so, not because of the considerable material success I enjoyed, I do so, because I was allowed to choose the time and manner of my death.
I can sense your trepidation as this is being read, you are my family and I would have probably felt the same way if I were there listening to these words and one of you had authored it. Fear not, I did not kill myself, I merely selected when and how I would die. I am a happy man and am proud of the legacy I have left behind in my temporal accomplishments and above all my children. No man can ask for more and no man must ask for less. Asking more always tests boundaries, yours and those of the world around you.
Questions must abound in your mind about the circumstances surrounding my death and the manner in which it played out; it’s simple really, I decided that my death will serve to act as an example for the rest of the world. I hope that it will provoke questions about why a rational, normal man like me would choose this mode over others and these questions in turn would force them to ask themselves if they would do the same. There are lessons to be learnt in everything even in something as terminal as life.
Regret is an emotion I swore I would never feel, acknowledging regret makes me feel like I haven’t really lived life to its full potential, and that, dear family is not a good feeling to have. I know because as I reflect now, I am filled with regret over not having done some of the things I thought I would do. I could have been a better father, a stronger person, a wiser citizen…the list is endless if you start, really. But the greatest comfort I had through all that was the knowledge of the choice I had been afforded.
By the time this letter is read, my emaciated, decomposing body, with a blood alcohol count slightly over the legal limit, would have been discovered by the police. Forensic analysis will reveal that my blood also contains trace elements of cocaine and heroin. My car will be discovered in the west wing of my office parking lot, the cause of death will be determined as carbon monoxide poisoning. My car will be discovered 48 hours after my death.
-Silence-
“Hi my name is William Jonah Wallaby, I am a Suicide Survivor ”
-Applause-
“We will now proceed with the reading of the next letter…”
posted by Sunil Setlur at
2:19 PM
1 Comments:
A good piece of writing, once again drawing on the strength of your unique technique. I liked the simplicity and the overall effect. Reading it, I couldn't help but think about our conversations a decade ago ....
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